Family is extremely important to me. It always has been.
This is actually what brought my husband and I together: we both highly value family and relationships with family. Ultimately, we wanted our spouse to feel the same way. This personal value is what strengthened our relationship, and what continues to strengthen the relationship of our family now. We strive to build relationships with each other, with our children, with our parents, and siblings.
You may be thinking, “That’s all fine and dandy, but WHY? Why is building relationships important?” Stick with me, I’ll explain it.
Biblical Perspective on Relationships
When we look at Genesis 2 & 3, we see that relationship is at the core of who God created us to be. Let’s look at the creation account told in Genesis 2.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
After this, God brings all the animals to Adam for him to name them. After Adam has gone through all the animals, the Bible says…
But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.
Immediately following this statement, we read the creation of woman (Eve), a helper to Adam.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Many people stop here and begin talking about the relationship of marriage, but I want to look a little bit further. Let’s move on to chapter 3 to see what is said about the importance of relationships. Most people look at this chapter and only see the fall to sin. However, if you pay attention you see a key detail of what life was like before the fall. After Adam and Eve sinned we read this verse,
Genesis 3:8
The Joy of God’s Presence
Before the fall, Adam and Eve enjoyed the physical presence of God. He would come and walk with them in the garden. I believe this detail is included to demonstrate to us the importance of relationships.
God created people to be in relationship with Him, to experience the joy of His presence. He created woman to be a helper to man, to share life’s joys and sorrows.
Furthermore, we see in this story the example of being removed from God’s presence as a punishment. Adam and Eve had never felt the separation of God’s presence until disobeying His one commandment. Then, they felt the need to hide from God.
We often do the same thing when we are upset with a family member or friend. We go off to be alone; we sit our children in time out; we send them to their room; we leave early; we ignore their phone calls; we say, “I just need a little time.”
Naturally within us, we know that our presence should be a reward for those we love. In the same way, the presence of those we love is a reward for us.
Created to Build Relationships
See, God created us for relationships. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert. I’m an introvert, too. I may have less close friends than you extroverts, that’s okay. The truth is still the same…God has still called me to relationships.
These relationships are important, too. In our culture today, we like to say, “Don’t look for someone to make you happy. Make yourself happy.” This is false, and has led to a great many people being completely unhappy.
The truth is…happiness does not come from you. You cannot make yourself happy. Happiness comes from the relationships God has created you for; specifically, your relationship with Him.
If you have never experienced the joy of being in God’s presence, of being in close relationship with Him, I am not going to be able to explain it to you. The only thing I can say to describe it is complete joy. Yes, other things might still be falling apart, but if I am close to God, I am filled with joy.
In a smaller scale, I experience joy when I am close to my husband. As I said before, we highly value family and relationships. We love to spend time together. It doesn’t matter if my husband just got home from work exhausted, if I need to run to the store, he wants to come with me. We find joy in each other’s presence. We spend a lot of time building our relationship, and nurturing the joy we find spending time together.
Enjoying the Presence of Our Children
In the same way, we find joy in our children. I am extremely blessed to be a stay at home mom. Many times people will say, “Oh, I could never stay home with my children. I’d go crazy.” It always makes me sad to hear this. I want to ask why. Why would you go crazy spending your days with your kids?
I love my kids. I love to spend time with them. I don’t want to send them to someone else for that person to enjoy watching them learn and grow. I want to experience my children learning and growing! It is a joy to be in the presence of my children.
I believe the belief that we would not enjoy spending our days with our children is an attack from Satan.
He has wired our culture to tell us that we need to “make something of ourselves.” Satan has told us that we need to accomplish something in order to be fulfilled, but I am here to tell you that I find no greater fulfillment than spending time with my family.
Learning Through Building Relationships
Nevertheless, my joy is not the main reason I focus so much on my relationship with my children. Did you know that our brains build neural connections faster and stronger when we are learning through relationships? This is why building relationships is so important!
Technology cannot teach your children better than a teacher. Even more shocking…
Your child will actually learn more from you than from a teacher.
This is why teachers spend so much time telling parents to read to their kids, because a parent reading to their kids has much more impact than a teacher reading to them.
Teachers understand that children learn better through relationships. That is why they spend so much time getting to know their students. It is why they listen to their rambling stories, and play games with them. They are building relationships to better teach them.
What Are Your Kids Learning
We hear a lot about adults being traumatized by their parents. Simply spend a little time on social media and you will see plenty of people who are trying to overcome toxic relationships with their parents.
While I believe some of this is social conditioning, the truth is…you don’t see many people talking about overcoming toxic relationships with teachers. Why? Because we as parents are the second most important relationship our children have (God is the first).
So, allow me to ask, what are your children learning from you? Are they learning that you would rather not be bothered with them? Are they learning that other things/people are more important than they are? Or are they learning that you enjoy their presence? Are they learning that they are important to you, and worth your time?
Conclusion: Why Building Relationships is Important
There are a lot of theories on why we learn so much better through relationships. However, I believe the reason is because God created us for relationships.
Don’t believe that God can make you happier than you can ever make yourself? I challenge you to seek God for an entire month, and see if you experience more joy.
To seek God:
- Ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
- Allow Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
- Study the Bible to learn about God and what He expects from you.
- Apply what you learn in your life.
If you take my challenge, please let me know how it goes for you. I would love to hear how God has shown you why building relationships is important.
Relationships are a huge part of discipleship. If you want to learn more about why discipleship is important, check out my post “Why Christian Education is Important.”
